OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
