'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
