she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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