Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize