"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
