I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The ass gains better be worth it
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