Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
