is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
