problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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