no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
