Yo dont text me then not text me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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