I think my fart just growled at me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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