$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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