The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
