yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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