You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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