I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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