I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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