That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
is that a dick in a sweater?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize