thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Randomize
