I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
