Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
