awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize