there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
