And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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