I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
