I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
