i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
