We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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