Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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