you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
