Where is the hickey?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
