So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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