cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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