Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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