the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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