I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
