Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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