you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have aggressive nipples.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
