I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
