I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
