Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
