I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
