PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
