You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
