Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he puts the penis in happiness.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
