I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
