he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
