Duck Duck Cougar?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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