I need help removing her.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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