Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
