i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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