marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
