so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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