everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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