just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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