not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
