i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
