I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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