how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
