Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
