is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
