I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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